The ongoing Political Musings of a former (now Stray) Yellar Dawg Dem.
This is a Feminist Blog, in the tradition of Susan B. Anthony.
"Just Tell Them...
I have worked 40 years to make the Women's Suffrage platform broad enough for Atheists and Agnostics to stand upon, and now if need be I will fight the next 40 to keep it Catholic enough to permit the straightest Orthodox religionist to speak or pray and count her beads upon."
Susan B. Anthony
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
A Pet Rescuer's Voice Mail (Totally on the Money, I'm Afraid. Funny, if it Wasn't So Sad.)
A RESCUERS ANSWERING MACHINE:
Hello: You have reached ___-____, Tender Hearts Rescue. Due to the high volume of calls we have been receiving, please listen closely to the following options and choose the one that best describes you or your situation: > Press 1 if you have a 10-year-old Shepherd and your 15-year-old son has suddenly become allergic and you need to find the dog a new home right away. > Press 2 if you are moving today and need to immediately place your 150 pound, 8-year-old Dane. > Press 3 if you have three poodles, had a baby and want to get rid of your dogs because you are the only person in the world to have a baby and dogs at the same time. > Press 4 if you just got a brand new puppy and your old dog is having problems adjusting so you want to get rid of the old one right away. > Press 5 if your Lab puppy has grown up and is no longer small and cute and you want to trade it in for a new model. > Press 6 if you want an unpaid volunteer to come to your home TODAY and pick up the Persian cats you no longer want. > Press 7 if you have been feeding and caring for a "stray" for the last three years, are moving and suddenly determine it's not your dog. > Press 8 if your Border Collie is sick and needs a vet but you need the money for your vacation. > Press 9 if you are elderly and want to adopt a cute little chihuahua puppy who is not active and is going to outlive you. > Press 10 if your relative has died and you don't want to care for their elderly Schnauzer because it doesn't fit your lifestyle. > Press 14 if you are calling at 6 a.m. to make sure you wake me up before I have to go to work so you can drop a pregnant cat off on your way to work. > Press 15 to leave us an anonymous garbled message, letting us know you have left two Greyhounds in our yard in the middle of January, which is in fact, better than just leaving the dog with no message. > Press 16 if you are going to get angry because we are not going to take your Coonhound that you have had for fifteen years, because it is not our responsibility. > Press 17 if you are going to threaten to take your ten year old Siamese cat to be euthanized because I won't take it. > Press 18 if you're going to get angry because the volunteers had the audacity to go on vacation and leave the dogs in care of a trusted volunteer who is not authorized to take your personal pet. > Press 19 if you want one of our PERFECTLY trained, housebroken, kid and cat friendly, non-shedding, purebred dogs that we have an abundance of. > Press 20 if you want us to take a dog that has a slight aggression problem, i.e. has only bitten a few people and killed your neighbor's cats. > Press 21 if you have already called once and been told we don't take personal surrenders but thought you would get a different person this time with a different answer. > Press 22 if you want us to use space that would go to a stray to board your personal Shih-Tzu while you are on vacation, free of charge, of course. > Press 23 if it is Christmas Eve or Easter morning and you want me to deliver an eight week old Golden Retriever puppy to your house by 6:30 am before your kids wake up. > Press 24 if you have bought your children a duckling, chick or baby bunny for Easter and it is now Christmas and no longer cute. > Press 25 if you want us to take your female beagle who has already had ten litters, but we can't spay her because she is pregnant again and it is against your religion. > Press 26 if you're lying to make one of our younger volunteers feel bad and take your personal pet off your hands. > Press 27 if your cat is biting and not using the litter box because it is declawed, but you are not willing to accept the responsibility that the cat's behavior is altered because of your nice furniture. > Press 28 if your two year old male Min Pin is marking all over your house but you just haven't gotten around to having him neutered. > Press 29 if you previously had an outdoor only dog and are calling because she is suddenly pregnant. > Press 30 if you have done "everything" to housebreak your Sheltie and have had no success but you don't want to crate her because it is cruel. > Press 31 if you didn't listen to the message asking for an evening phone number and you left your work number when all volunteers are also working and you are angry because no one called you back. > Press 32 if you need a Bichon puppy immediately and cannot wait because today is your daughter's birthday and you forgot when she was born. > Press 33 if your cats's coat doesn't match your new furniture and you need a different color or breed. > Press 34 if your new love doesn't like your Pug and you are too stupid to get rid of the new friend (who will dump you in the next month anyway) instead of the Pug. > Press 35 if you went through all these 'options' and didn't hear enough. This press will connect you to the sounds of tears being shed by one of our volunteers who is holding a discarded old dog while the vet mercifully frees him from the grief of missing his family. > > ~Author Unknown, but much appreciated (with specific breed name edits by SYD, to more accurately reflect her experience.)
Addendum: they left out #36, if your friend's fighting pit bull needs a place to go because his owner was shot by drug dealers. And #37, if your husband is threatening to shoot the beagle RIGHT NOW and you hate to take the poor thing to a kill shelter. (Both calls I received this week, BTW.)
In "real life" Dawg is a mom, a nurse, a pet rescuer and a tireless advocate for animal rights.
Dawg is happily married for thirty years and has raised three awesome children. She holds an advanced degree in Family Science, wherein her research was focused on women's support circles during parturition. Her dedication to Women's Rights is directly affected by her belief that motherhood should not be a sentence to isolation and disenfranchisement.
Dawg is on hiatus from political bloggery d/t the intense demands of her engagement in the No Kill movement at this time. However, she remains influenced by PUMA politics and reads the blogs of her fellow PUMAs (at right) regularly.
Thanks for the Visit, all you Stray Dogs and PUMAs!
"Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave.