New, Homely "Barbie" To Boost Self Esteem in Girls

Per The Onion.

"Mattel, which has been criticized in the past for promoting unrealistic standards of beauty, claimed that the new doll would not only improve the self-esteem of growing girls, but would also give them someone to feel superior to for hours on end.

Modestly priced at $7.99, each Plain Pamela doll comes prepackaged with a variety of unflattering and ill-fitting blouses to drape over her shapeless torso, as well as a packet of paste-on psoriasis spots to apply along her arms and back."

In case you are wondering why SYD has taken a sudden liking to news from "The Onion..."

It is because all other news sources currently suck. The MSM has totally jumped the partisan shark. And even the blogosphere is dangerously teetering on that brink.

There is really nowhere else to turn....

Given Your Grandfather's Age ... and the Fact that it was Five PM on Friday....

The Onion explores why physicians may not be the best professionals to make "end of life decisions."

"Given your grandfather's age, overall state of health, limited medical coverage, the fact that it was almost 5 p.m. on a Friday, and that hand cramp I got midway through, the odds were stacked against him. He was in bad shape. Nonetheless, from the moment I woke up from my afternoon nap until the minute we decided to call it a day, Dr. Juzwiak and I gave it the ol' college try—you can be sure of that.

He's in a better place now, really. This hospital is terribly overcrowded, there's no AC, and I feel like I see a different sick guy walk in here every 15 minutes. It kind of sucks."

Just something to think about as we rush headlong into paying them to do so.

With all due respect, I do not understand why physicians are being paid to make these kinds of decisions with their patients? Why not chaplains? Social workers?

And haven't such discussions ALWAYS been voluntary?

Just sayin'.....

"One You'll Have Sorrow, Two You'll Have Joy" .... Solitary Crow Portends Doom (The Onion)

Too bad this crow has no mate ....

As reported in The Onion:

"Look, the crow is already upon us, and we can't undo that," the president said at an emergency press conference Monday night. "As our nation faces this unprecedented challenge, it is very important that no one panic, because panicking will only increase the chances of it fidgeting with its talons or perhaps even flapping its wings. And I think we all know what that would mean."

"Oh, crow, why must you taunt us with your unholy knowledge?" the president continued. "Leave us be or make haste with your nefarious doings!"

According to Dust Bowl–era accounts of similar augurs of doom, crows alighting upon fences amid desolate prairie landscapes have often been associated with creeks running dry, cows giving sour milk, grain elevator accidents, and other tragedies. But modern experts have cautioned that this time the circumstances could be far more dire.

Now for some crow lore:

One Crow Sorrow
Two Crows Joy
Three Crows a Wedding (or a girl, depending on version)
Four Crows a Boy
Five crows Silver
Six Crows Gold
Seven Crows a Secret
Never to be told.

SYD really does not know what to say about the current state of the nation. Too much to consider.

Crows are just plain easier to read.