"One You'll Have Sorrow, Two You'll Have Joy" .... Solitary Crow Portends Doom (The Onion)

Too bad this crow has no mate ....

As reported in The Onion:

"Look, the crow is already upon us, and we can't undo that," the president said at an emergency press conference Monday night. "As our nation faces this unprecedented challenge, it is very important that no one panic, because panicking will only increase the chances of it fidgeting with its talons or perhaps even flapping its wings. And I think we all know what that would mean."

"Oh, crow, why must you taunt us with your unholy knowledge?" the president continued. "Leave us be or make haste with your nefarious doings!"

According to Dust Bowl–era accounts of similar augurs of doom, crows alighting upon fences amid desolate prairie landscapes have often been associated with creeks running dry, cows giving sour milk, grain elevator accidents, and other tragedies. But modern experts have cautioned that this time the circumstances could be far more dire.

Now for some crow lore:

One Crow Sorrow
Two Crows Joy
Three Crows a Wedding (or a girl, depending on version)
Four Crows a Boy
Five crows Silver
Six Crows Gold
Seven Crows a Secret
Never to be told.

SYD really does not know what to say about the current state of the nation. Too much to consider.

Crows are just plain easier to read.