"Just Tell Them...

I have worked 40 years to make the Women's Suffrage platform broad enough for Atheists and Agnostics to stand upon, and now if need be I will fight the next 40 to keep it Catholic enough to permit the straightest Orthodox religionist to speak or pray and count her beads upon."

Susan B. Anthony

Monday, February 1, 2010

Why I Could Never Really Be A Conservative, And What Conservatives Can Do to Win Me Over (Kudos to Cindy McCain & Cynthia Yockey)

Cynthia Yockey spells it out HERE. My response is below.


This is such an important story. I hope you never stop telling it. And I hope that Conservatives hear …. that if they would accept that gay and lesbian people deserve the same Constitutional protections as the rest of us do… numbers of Conservatives would increase DRAMATICALLY.

I am a case in point. I would likely be a far more “Conservative” voter were it not for this issue.

I don’t think I have ever told you the tale of my own family. My gay son was with his partner for seven years. In a monogamous relationship. They were married by the church in Ohio, but that meant nothing to the law. A year after they moved to Boston they decided to make it legal, and I am thankful for that, every day.

One month after the marriage was legalized…. the unthinkable happened. My son’s husband fell, hit his head, and never woke up. Watching what happened in the week between Jason’s accident and death was like getting a slo-mo education on the importance of marriage rights. End of life decisions. Organ donor status. My son was able to take part in all of it. Because it was happening in Massachusetts, not Ohio. (Being an experienced Ohio nurse made me keenly aware of the difference.)

No one will understand this issue until they hear our stories. In the abstract… it all sounds so simple. Who needs “marriage?” Why not just live together? What difference could it possibly make??

It has been 2 1/2 years since Jason passed. We have been through the life insurance guantlet ONLY available to my son because of his MA residency and marriage. Jason was the bread winner in the couple. Without that life insurance, my son would not have been able to continue his graduate studies….. What would have happened? I shudder to think.

Your story and my son’s are compelling. We must never stop telling them. Until equal Constitutional protections apply to everyone.

Thanks for speaking up!



  1. Anonymous7:29 PM

    Speaking as a conservative, I would love to say what I think of homosexuals without being labeled a bigot or a homophobe. Among the conservatives I know, there is no hate in the matter what-so-ever. A lot of conservatives that I know want homosexuals to enjoy the same marital rights through civil unions. If we follow the UK's model, that is complete marital equality. The UK's model is the best way to satisfy both religious individuals and the homosexuals.

    I believe inequality can exist without oppression; take the differences between northern blacks and southern blacks immediately following the civil war. Their conditions were unequal to each other, but the northern blacks never oppressed the southern blacks.

    I do believe many groups in this country deal with inequality, and I want inequality to be eliminated. However, I do not believe any group is oppressed.

    The only sources of inequality I can find for homosexuals are marital rights and DADT. I want those inequalities to be eliminated. I refuse to believe they suffer from inequality in other matters; how does this make me a bigot or insensitive to homosexuals?

  2. Anonymous10:33 AM

    I become so irritated when people automatically assume there is hate involved in the reason people oppose gay marriage.

    I also become irritated when I am accused of insensitivity because I refuse to believe homosexuals are oppressed in this country.

    I become irritated when I am accused of insensitivity when I state homosexuals have complete equality aside from the two issues I listed above. I believe homosexuals enjoy complete political, economic, educational, etc., equality. There only two sources of inequality are spousal rights and DADT.

  3. Arkedelos,

    No one here is accusing you of anything.

    If you think gay individuals are being kept "unequal" by their lack of marriage rights, and by DADT... STAND UP AND FIGHT man! This is America!!

  4. Anonymous9:30 AM

    I know... I just had to rant because a liberal friend of mine pretty much accused me of all that when I stated my support for civil unions as opposed to marriage; when I stated that homosexuals have complete political equality; and when I refused to believe they are oppressed among other things.
    She has made me so irritated that I don't want to talk to her, so I haven't posted in my LiveJournal.
    Conservatives who oppose gay marriage still want them to have the same rights, but they want to go about getting the rights differently. I support the UK's model, but as far as I know, that's not on the table. The opposition to DADT is clear-cut; I doubt Obama is really going to reverse it, though. It seemed like he was about to reverse DADT when he first became president, but changed his mind - just like how he suddenly remembered the economy.

    And everyone else just happens to coincidentally be posting about gay marriage/civil unions recently. *shrug*

  5. Civil unions are all fine and good. That is what the state should be doling out to all couples. Both Homo and Hetero-sexual.

    Marriage is an institution of the church as far as I am concerned. As such, forbidding clergy who approve of same sex marriage from marrying gay individuals is an infringement on religious freedom.

    Take marriage away from the state and we won't have this problem.

  6. Pro-gay marraige clergy filing Amicus brief to end religious discrimination:


    Good for them!